Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
