sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
