Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
