Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
