super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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