..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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