He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
