i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
