All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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