so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
