yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I have fence marks all over my body
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
