I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
