I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize