ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
