i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
