its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
