too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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