Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize