I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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