I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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