I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Randomize
