buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
