I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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