Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
