too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
