I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
