Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
