Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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