didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
