We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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