Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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