I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
