I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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