Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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