Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
