no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
