would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize