If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
