You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize