OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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