She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
