What a fucking waste of an outfit
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize