We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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