"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
