i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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