glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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