ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
