Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
