My girlfriend figured out who you are.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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