You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
