I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
