i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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