So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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