If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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