You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
