i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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