wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
