so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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