I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
