i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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