Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
