You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
it glows. i had to have it.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
