i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I touched a dick in church today
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
