Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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