Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
