So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
