Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
this will be a night to untag.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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