Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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