Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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