About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize