If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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