He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I am one with the molecules
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
