you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
