I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize