Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
