u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
