my room smells like sperm. sweet.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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