I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
