Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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