She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize