Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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