I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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