Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I think my vagina is haunted
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
