I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
