The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
