I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize